Baby's Due Date

Well, here we are! June 17th. The day I've thought about more than any other day in my life. Today is the day, and yet here I am.... (still pregnant)

Here's a little bit of what I'm feeling today.

Impatience. I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't completely disappointed when I woke up this morning without any contractions or signs of labor.... I thought today would be the day I get to meet my little baby! What kills me the most about this all is that I have no control over it! Sure, I could start drinking castor oil, or ask my Dr. to be induced, but I know that above all, baby is going to come when baby is ready. But waiting still sucks.

Excitement. Honestly, it just doesn't seem real. I can't really believe that soon I will be holding my baby. Sometimes I stop to think about how awesome it will be to see our baby for the first time, and I have to stop myself because I get all teary and emotional. Even if baby doesn't come today, I at least know (at least in the next week) that I WILL get to meet my baby! (And FINALLY find out if it's a boy or a girl!!)

Scared. Am I allowed to be scared of labor? I took a hypnobirthing class where the entire theme was "birth without fear". So I feel like a wuss for saying this, but I'm scared $#*!&%$$. But not like a scared, like, I don't think I can do this, because I know I can! But a scared, like, I have no idea what it's going to be like and how I'm going to handle it. I feel similar to how I felt the morning of my first marathon. I knew I had trained for months and months for this, and I knew my body was prepared physically, and I knew I probably wouldn't die....but I also knew that what I was about to do would take every bit of energy and willpower to complete, and I knew it would be very hard.

Disbelief. Above all, I just can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by for me. I have been so lucky to have a very easy pregnancy (even with all the morning sickness). Overall, I maintained my goal of only gaining 25 lbs total, which actually really surprised me. I think that has a lot to do with why I've felt so good this last trimester. I really haven't had bad back pain, swelling, or joint pain. I guess I'm just lucky. It doesn't seem real that this pregnancy is almost over! I love waking up in the middle of the night to little baby kicks. I love being asked about my pregnancy and baby, because I love thinking about my baby all the time. I love (&hate) the new stretch marks I've acquired, the few cup sizes I've added to my bra, and the wobble I've attained during these past few weeks. But as much as I've loved pregnancy, I know I will love parenthood even more :)

And now for the juicy details:

Dilation: 2 + cm Effacement: almost completely Contractions: Yes and no. I will get strong, regular (& painful) contractions every few hours, but they have always gone away. How I feel: For some reason I got hit with a bug or the flu and have been throwing up everything I take in for the past 24 hours. I can't seem to stay hydrated, which I know is a big problem going into labor. So I am doing my best. 

38 Weeks!

How Far Along? 38 weeks + 2 days Weight Gain: + 25 lbs (FYI...polar bears gain 200 lbs during their pregnancy! So I'm doing okay, right?? haha) How big is baby? Pumpkin, 7 lbs now! Sleep? Sleep's gotten better! My back doesn't hurt nearly as much. I really can't complain... Best moment this week? I've gotten a new burst of energy lately. I try to take my dogs on a really long walk everyday (5+ miles), and that's made my back pain and joint pain go away! Although, I definitely have the pregnancy 'wobble'. Haha the other day on a walk a car actually pulled over and they asked if I was in labor and needed a ride!! I was so embarrassed! Sometimes baby will kick me really hard and I'll stop and bend over and grab my belly because it HURTS! But I thought I still looked really good when I go on walks....apparently I look worse than I feel haha. Food Cravings: Spaghetti (had it 3 times for dinner this week), doritos, and watermelon of course! Gender: I'm sticking with my gut on this one. I think it's a girl. And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. but I really do think it's a girl :) Labor Signs: Besides braxton hicks, no real labor signs. My doctor checked me today and I'm not dilated, but he does say my cervix is soft & thinning out..(tmi?) I'm glad I am not dilated yet, because this baby needs to stay in until its due date if I'm gonna pass nursing school!! "Nesting"? Everything is done! Nursery is set up and organized, car seat base is installed in the car, diaper bag is packed, my hospital bag is packed and waiting by the door. So baby could come any time now and we'd be "ready"! Due date guesses: Right now I'm thinking baby will come either on my due date or a few days late. I've been measuring a week early my whole pregnancy, but I'm also a first time mom (generally first time moms go late), I'm not dilated, but I've definitely "dropped"......so we'll see. Plus I don't want to go any earlier than my due date because I have a ton of clinicals and school simulations that if I missed, I don't know what I would do.... (Have I mentioned my school sucks?!)

Anyway, here's a bunch of pictures I've collected over the past 2 weeks!

36 weeks

How Far Along? 36 weeks + 5 days Weight Gain: + 23 lbs How big is baby? Cantaloupe & over 6 lbs now! WOW Sleep? Sleep has gone downhill for me a LOT lately. Between horrible lower back pain and waking up every few hours to pee, I feel like I never ever get enough sleep. Best moment this week? Going to my doctor's appt! My doctor is so great and I am so happy I chose him. He's even coming to the office next week at 8:30pm because it's the only time I could possibly go that week. A lot of people are confused about why I didn't choose an OB/GYN or midwife to deliver this baby, since that's what everybody does. But my doctor is a Family Practice resident and I feel really good about my choice and would totally recommend him to everyone. Food Cravings: Donut holes. And the best ones I've found so far are at Walmart! The sour cream donut holes, SOOO GOOD. Gender: Boy... Labor Signs: I get contractions off and on...the worst was on Tuesday when they were 10 minutes apart. They weren't that painful, and they weren't getting closer together, so I wasn't worried. I figured I was sleep deprived and dehydrated so I drank a ton of water & gatorade and ta-da! No more contractions. Other than that, I feel like baby has "dropped", as I now have unbelievable back pain all the time. I keep a bottle of icy hot on hand and seriously apply that stuff every few hours, and it helps a ton. "Nesting"? Today I was sooo excited because I got a huge lot of Bum Genius diapers for $150! I already had 13, and I got 26 more today, so that means we have 39 diapers now! And we are SET. It's nice to have that done and checked off the list, because I hear building up your supply of cloth diapers is really expensive, especially when you choose nice brands like Bum Genius (thanks for the advice, Brittani!) But we have only spent a total of about $200 on all 39 diapers, which will last our baby its whole diapering life, so I'd say we are going to save a TON of money!

I've also been going through our whole house & gotten rid of so much stuff! Giving away bags of stuff is the best feeling in the world and makes even more room for baby stuff ;)

Rue, master of the dipes. She thinks they're very comfy.

Overall, I feel really good and excited about this birth. I am a little worried about if I were to go early, since I have so much work scheduled and clinicals scheduled with my school, and if I missed them I would pretty much be in a ton of trouble and might possibly fail this semester. (My nursing school sucks and gives pregnant women absolutely no help). But THAT'S a whole different story. So if all goes as planned-which it ALWAYS does, right?!?! ;) , and I deliver on my due date, I should only miss one class at nursing school, which won't totally kill my grade. Oh, and did I mention I've been measuring a week early since I was 20 weeks?? Anyways, I hope all goes well, and even if I don't make it to 40 weeks, I doubt I will care since I get to meet our little babe early :)

Also, on an unrelated note, I got assigned my nursing preceptorship on a Labor/Delivery unit! I am SOO excited and unbelievably blessed, since a lot of girls in my class wanted this preceptorship but I was the only one who got a spot. I really had to fight for it, though. Having a great preceptorship will make it a little bit easier to leave my newborn for 12 hours at a time the rest of the summer, I hope....

33 Weeks

How Far Along? 33 weeks Weight Gain: + 19 lbs How big is baby? Size of a pumpkin, weighs over 4.5lbs now! Yeah, baby! Sleep? I recently discovered the magic of taking baths (why did I just now discover this at 33 weeks pregnant?!) Taking a bath every night before bed has made me sleep like a baby again. Working 12 hour shifts on your feet all day really takes a toll on my big pregnant body, but as soon as I slip into the bath water it's like ahhhhh! no more pain. Best moment this week? My baby shower! I felt so loved by all my friends and family, near and far. People were so generous, and it was so fun to see everyone again! Weird pregnancy moment? Today was my day off, so I decided I wanted to be productive and go to a prenatal yoga class at the Rec Center. So I checked the website real quick for the schedule, and showed up at 9am. When I got to the class, I looked around and thought, "Wow, these women are in really good shape for being pregnant!" I felt huge! And then the music started. And it was hip hop music. Then the teacher put on a head microphone and started dancing. I thought, Whoa, this is a really intense prenatal yoga class... And all the women started doing crunches! The teacher announced, "Okay ladies, today is ABS DAY!" Hahaha! I showed up for the wrong class! So I quietly slipped out, very pregnant, and very embarrassed. Movement: Yes, this baby is a machine. Even my father in law pointed it out when I was sitting across the room from him, how much my baby was moving. It's crazy! S/he's trying to escape! Food Cravings: Watermelon. I seriously go through 2 watermelons/week by myself. LOL. Anything making you queasy? I'll vomit randomly, usually every other day. It's like first trimester all over again. But it doesn't stop me from eating. It's more like, "Oh this egg mcmuffin is sooooo good," *vomit*......*orders another mcmuffin*. Gender: This week I've been doubting my intuition of it being a girl, and I'm starting to think it's a boy! I love the guessing game, but I'm also going a little nuts. What I'm looking forward to: I'm excited to bring my birth plan to my doctor this week and talk with him about my preferences. This is going to be sooo hard for me though, because I've heard some really mean things from the labor & delivery nurses I work with. Basically, they aren't very nice about women who have birth plans. But at this point, I'm just blocking out all negativity and rude people, and I'm doing what I think is best for me and my baby. My hypnobirthing class has really helped boost my confidence!

30 Weeks

How Far Along? 30 weeks Weight Gain: + 17 lbs How big is baby: Size of a butternut squash, and weighs over 3 lbs! Sleep? I can usually fall asleep really easily, but between the bathroom breaks, aching back, and swollen tummy, I usually wake up around 2am and then every hour until I get up. Best moment this week? Hawaii! Also, yesterday Zach & I went to my doctor's appt and he calmed a lot of my fears. I was convinced that baby was transverse, but it turns out s/he is head down, doing perfect! The doctor also calmed some of my fears about being induced, and episiotomies. I really chose the best doctor! Weird pregnancy moment? I can now see the baby's kicks from outside my belly. It seriously looks like a giant alien is just trapped inside by body, pushing each and every way to try to get out. haha. Soon, baby! Movement: Baby really likes to kick most at night, usually around 5pm-9pm is when s/he's the most active. He also gets really calm when Zach puts his hand on my belly. I know she already knows who her dad is, and it's already so sweet. Food Cravings: Spaghetti & 'juices'. Zach & I bought a juicer and we have been having so much fun coming up with new juices...my favorite so far is carrot, beet, orange, pineapple, & ginger. YUM! Gender: Still holding out! The doctor gave us another opportunity yesterday to find out when he did the ultrasound, and I told Zach he could look if he wants to, but he didn't want to! I am pretty convinced it's a girl, though :) Even though everyone in Hawaii guessed it was a boy! What I'm looking forward to: Is it weird to say I'm looking forward to the birth? Because I'm really excited. Zach & I have been taking a hypnobirthing class and part of it is to practice hypnosis every day. I get sooo relaxed & just feel so happy and positive about this baby and how our birth is going to be awesome. I can already tell this baby is going to be a huge blessing in our life, and I can't wait to see it unfold and to see Zach & I develop as parents as we raise our little baby.

Hawaii "Babymoon"

BYU may not give you a spring break, but that doesn't mean you don't take one! We decided back in December that we wanted to take a fun trip before baby got here (ie-"babymoon"). It was absolutely wonderful because Zach's cousin & her husband happen to live in Hawaii! So we got to stay with them for a week and explore the island. Mostly, it was just nice to get away from school & work for a while and not have to worry about anything except for sunshine, pineapple, & beach.

Here are some highlights from our trip:

First day at North Shore:

First stop we made was at a local fruit stand, where we found the BEST pineapple we've ever had. Do you know how to tell if a pineapple is good? You smell it! The sweeter the smell, the better the pineapple! YUM.

Best food we had in Hawaii:Kahuku's Grill! I had the famous Coconut Shrimp, and Zach got a burger. Both were SO good. Plus the staff were so friendly. 

 We also went to Polynesian Cultural Center for a day while in North Shore. In my opinion, it was really cool, but if I had to do it again I'd just go for the show at the end of the night. The show was amazing!

 Snorkeling at Shark's Cove & Hanauma Bay:

 Snorkeling was definitely my favorite part of Hawaii! It got difficult when we were in shallow areas, because I kept scraping my belly on the coral! Haha! You forget how big you are and how far down your belly really goes when you're pregnant...

Hanauma Bay. Soo pretty. Fun fact: the day after we left here, 2 people drowned to death. 

 Zach & I were masters of the "selfie" by the end of this trip, thanks to our new GoPro.

Manoa Falls:

This hike was absolutely gorgeous. Luckily, at the beginning of the hike one of the trail guides warned me that there was leptospirosis in the water, which is a bad bacterial diseases for most people, but it's REALLY bad news if you're pregnant. So we didn't go in the water. But nevertheless, the views were amazing.

Fun with Sam & Paige:

Hawaii is really pretty & fun, but honestly the best part of this vacation was getting to know Sam & Paige better! They were the sweetest, most fun hosts we could have ever asked for. They picked us up from the airport, welcomed us with real leis, gave us chocolate and bought us pie & a special Hawaiian drink, and let us use their car while we were there! Makes me sad that we didn't take more pictures with them, but we sure had fun!

best shave ice ever!

Not pictured: Zach's shave ice. With horchata, ice cream, coconut milk, AND sweetened condensed milk, it tasted like frozen diabetes in a cup.

On our last day, we went to Pearl Harbor with Sam & Paige. I was really surprised how much I liked it! 

Random things during our trip:
-Everyone in Hawaii LOVED to guess what my baby's gender is! Strangers would just walk up to me out of nowhere and say "It's a boy. I can tell because you carry in the front! Am I right?" And I'd say "Thanks, but I actually don't know what it is!" Haha. I loved it. People were so friendly. And for the record, almost EVERYONE guessed our baby is a boy. So let that be on record.

-People were SO concerned about me being pregnant, they thought I couldn't do ANYTHING! I would get comments from random strangers, like "Are you sure you can go snorkeling?" and when we were starting our hike up Manoa Falls, one of the park rangers asked if I was going to be able to do this... you guys, this hike was like 3 miles long. And I call it a 'hike' loosely, it was really more like a walk. But the worst was when we went to rent a kayak. They would NOT rent it to me! She looked at me nervously, and said, "Uhh...how far along are you? I don't think you can kayak." I reassured her that yes, I could kayak, because there wasn't even any waves on the beach. But they wouldn't let us rent it. Booooo!

-Traffic was HORRIBLE. Paige had warned us, but I had no idea it would turn a 30 minute drive into a 3 hour drive. Yikes!

-People were so incredibly nice. One day, Zach and I had been walking around for what felt like hours because we just could not find somewhere decent to eat. Finally, it was getting really cold and windy, and we just said "Ok, next restaurant we see, we eat at." And we found a hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant that looked more like a strip bar. Then a random old man bought us dessert because he saw I was pregnant, and the waitress gave us free drinks!

Hawaii was so much fun, and we'd go back in a heartbeat. But above all, it was just nice to have some time together on vacation before we have our baby,  Zach starts med school, and I take my NCLEX & start working as a nurse. Back to real life!

25 Weeks!

How big is baby:  Cauliflower :)

Total weight gain/loss: +11 lbs (Doc says I'm on perfect track to only gain 25 lbs during pregnancy! Wahoo!)

Best moment this week: Let's see.....
-Going to my first breastfeeding class. I LOVED it and will be going back every month!!
-Passing my glucose test! No gestational diabetes, yay!!
-Bought new a "Mamaroo" baby rocker from KSL for really cheap! They are usually over $250, so I was really excited to get it for only $75 :)
-Got the animal pictures and curtains up in the nursery! I am loving how it's turning out, totally gender neutral, and totally not boring-looking.

Food cravings: Flaming hot cheetos (w/ lime, of course), Peanut butter, ice cream.... haha. If you saw the way I ate, you'd think I was trying to get gestational diabetes

Food aversions: Do prenatal vitamins count? Why do those things make you so sick? I have to eat them at night otherwise I'll throw up everything I've eaten.

Gender: Boy. I've been having dreams so much about it being a boy. But I honestly don't think about whether it's a boy or a girl that often, which surprises me.

Names: Anders Michael Wagner
Everly Cosette Wagner. Middle names are SO HARD. But Cosette is Zach's favorite so far, which makes me like it more....
t least we are set on Everly & Anders. (And I still have yet to see Anders or Everly as baby names in any of the nurseries!)

Pregnancy Symptoms/Labor signs: Braxton hicks contractions like crazy! Probably like 3-4 times a day. They don't hurt at all, so I know they're okay. It mostly happens when I haven't peed for a long time, like my full bladder sets them off or something. Still a really strange feeling!

What I am looking forward to: 

Next week Zach and I will be going on our BABYMOON (yes, that's a thing) to Hawaii for 8 whole days!!! I can't wait to go whale watching, surfing, snorkeling, hiking, and the food! Next blog post will be about that :)

Funny Moment: HAHA. Okay, this is embarrassing. Pregnancy has made me really feisty, and apparently I don't have a filter on my mouth now. 
The other day at the gym, I was on the elliptical next to another lady, and it was just us in this small little corner of the gym (ie--there were was no one else it could have possibly been)
Anyways, she must have had bad gas, because every few minutes, it stunk sooo badly. And like, I understand, we are all people...I get it. But this was awful. And when you're working out and huffing and puffing... that's just mean.
So finally, I just stopped, looked at her squarely and said "Can you STOP farting?!" And she got this really horrified look on her face and just quickly said "Sorry", and left a few minutes.
I felt pretty guilty, and I couldn't even believe I said that. Like you have to understand, that is not like me at ALL to say something. I really have NO filter anymore! What's gotten into me?! Haha poor lady.

Milestones: Not only do I feel baby kick all the time now, but I feel him/her start kicking like crazy whenever I hold babies at work (I work in the nursery). It's my favorite thing, to just hold a newborn and rock him/her and hold them against my chest. I think my baby kicks so much because s/he's jealous ;)

My doctor also says that I am measuring a week early, and since I've consistently been measuring a week early for the past 3 visits, we might be meeting baby earlier than June 17th! Hooray!!

Sorry for all the "pregnancy selfies" this week. It's so weird to see my baby bump so prominent now. Apparently it's made me vain!

This baby better not be camera-shy!

Only 15 more weeks!!