Here's a little bit of what I'm feeling today.
Impatience. I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't completely disappointed when I woke up this morning without any contractions or signs of labor.... I thought today would be the day I get to meet my little baby! What kills me the most about this all is that I have no control over it! Sure, I could start drinking castor oil, or ask my Dr. to be induced, but I know that above all, baby is going to come when baby is ready. But waiting still sucks.
Excitement. Honestly, it just doesn't seem real. I can't really believe that soon I will be holding my baby. Sometimes I stop to think about how awesome it will be to see our baby for the first time, and I have to stop myself because I get all teary and emotional. Even if baby doesn't come today, I at least know (at least in the next week) that I WILL get to meet my baby! (And FINALLY find out if it's a boy or a girl!!)
Scared. Am I allowed to be scared of labor? I took a hypnobirthing class where the entire theme was "birth without fear". So I feel like a wuss for saying this, but I'm scared $#*!&%$$. But not like a scared, like, I don't think I can do this, because I know I can! But a scared, like, I have no idea what it's going to be like and how I'm going to handle it. I feel similar to how I felt the morning of my first marathon. I knew I had trained for months and months for this, and I knew my body was prepared physically, and I knew I probably wouldn't die....but I also knew that what I was about to do would take every bit of energy and willpower to complete, and I knew it would be very hard.
Disbelief. Above all, I just can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by for me. I have been so lucky to have a very easy pregnancy (even with all the morning sickness). Overall, I maintained my goal of only gaining 25 lbs total, which actually really surprised me. I think that has a lot to do with why I've felt so good this last trimester. I really haven't had bad back pain, swelling, or joint pain. I guess I'm just lucky. It doesn't seem real that this pregnancy is almost over! I love waking up in the middle of the night to little baby kicks. I love being asked about my pregnancy and baby, because I love thinking about my baby all the time. I love (&hate) the new stretch marks I've acquired, the few cup sizes I've added to my bra, and the wobble I've attained during these past few weeks. But as much as I've loved pregnancy, I know I will love parenthood even more :)
And now for the juicy details:
Dilation: 2 + cm Effacement: almost completely Contractions: Yes and no. I will get strong, regular (& painful) contractions every few hours, but they have always gone away. How I feel: For some reason I got hit with a bug or the flu and have been throwing up everything I take in for the past 24 hours. I can't seem to stay hydrated, which I know is a big problem going into labor. So I am doing my best.
