Friday morning, I woke up having mild contractions, about every 10 minutes. They weren't anything to write home about, but I was really excited that things were getting started as today would be the perfect day to deliver a baby since Zach had finished his boards exam yesterday and it was still 2 days away from Everly's birthday so I was sure this baby wouldn't have the same birthday as Everly!
With Everly's delivery, I was admitted to the hospital and she was born only 4 hours later, so I was expecting this delivery to be really fast. So I texted my midwife just to give her a heads up, and she was supposed to come over for an appointment at 1pm that day anyway, so she said just to let her know if anything changed until then.
Zach and I went on a walk to get things moving, and by the end of the walk, my contractions were a lot stronger and just 5 minutes apart. So I called in to work to let them know I wasn't going to be there for my shift tonight because I'm pretty sure I was in labor! Best feeling ever. Then Zach and I came home and I kinda went into crazy mode, cleaning the house and finishing up all our to-do list before the birth.
But I also remember feeling really stressed out. Everly was being really grouchy and stubborn that day, and the dogs were not listening to us on the walk and kept running away and it just really stressed me out. Around noon, I realized my contractions had stopped.
My midwife came at 1pm for our appointment and I was all mopey, "Why is this happening! I thought I was in labor! I swear my contractions were strong, I'm not the type to fake going into labor! I even called off work!" She reassured me that she believed me, and wasn't surprised my labor stopped because Everly is awake. She told me that she has never actually seen a mother who has a toddler at home deliver their baby during the day while the toddler is around. (Hospital births are different, because moms can leave their home responsibilities and go somewhere else to deliver, but home births mean the mom is still at home and dealing with home obligations) She said that all the stress of having Everly awake and me being in 'mom mode' probably stopped my labor, and that once she goes to bed I'll probably start labor again. So I asked her to check me, and I was 5cm dilated. Okay, I thought, I'll just put Everly down at 7 tonight then have the baby by midnight. Perfect. I really wanted a June 16th baby!
My mom got here that afternoon and we basically just waited around all day for me to go back into labor, drawing more birth affirmation cards and going to my friend's pool party that night. Then we put Everly down for bed at 7 and I started to pump to try to start my contractions again. nipple stimulation=oxytocin=contractions=baby ;)
Zach's parents got here around 9pm. They changed their flights to come early to make it for the delivery. I just felt so guilty, they were supposed to get here Saturday night and now they had moved their flights to Friday night thinking I'd have a baby that night, and here I was just being lazy in my non-laborness....
So we all went to bed.
Around 1am, I woke up with a super bad contraction. There I was, throbbing in pain, dealing with my contraction, and Zach is snoring soundly next to me. I threw a pillow at his head, "How can you just SLEEP when I'm having a contraction like THIS!" He hurry and sat up, mumbled something, then fell back asleep. Okay, I thought, he's useless to me right now. I'm on my own.
For the rest of the night, I kept waking up about every 30 minutes with strong contractions. I would get up, walk around our room (turns out walking is my FAVORITE way to deal with contractions), then fall back asleep. At 5 am, I decided to see if I could feel how dilated I was, and then I realized I could feel baby's head a lot lower & I could feel my bag of water too (I wasn't crowning or anything, but I definitely knew I had changed)
So we woke up Zach's dad (For those of you who don't know, Zach's dad is an OBGYN, a convenient member of your family to have at a home birth). Before he would check me, he listened to baby's heart rate during a contraction to make sure she was doing great. She was like textbook perfect, strong heartbeat, no decels during contractions and had moderate variability (perfect findings). Then he checked me and told me I was 6cm, station 0, and that my bag of water was bulging. He asked if I wanted him to break my water and literally as I was telling him no, he said "Oops..." and a big gush of fluid came out. (He really didn't mean to break my water, it was actually an accident, he barely touched it. But it all turned out okay because my fluid was clear & baby was ready to come!)
It was 6am. I called my midwife and told her what happened and she jumped in the car and came right over. She knew that now things were going to go fast. I also called my amazing birth photographer, Brindisi (who was actually a friend from high school & church before all of this) and she came right over too.
"Let's start filling up the pool!" Zach said, and then I knew things were actually happening, I was going to have my baby soon!
Everly was awake now and almost having an anxiety attack and was being really clingy to me because I think she knew something big was happening and while I thought she'd be okay on the couch upstairs watching Trolls with my mom during the delivery, she wasn't. So I called my awesome neighbor Ambria to come get her and she left.
My midwife started bringing in all her equipment, the birthing pool was being filled, and Zach was walking around with me, with a wide scarf (called a Rebozo) wrapped around my belly and twisted tightly, to provide counter-pressure as I had my contractions. These contractions were no stronger than the ones I was having last night, the only difference was that they were 2 minutes apart instead of 20.
I was GBS+ so my midwife started an IV on me to give me antibiotics. She pushed in 2g of Ampicillin and I asked her to just take out the IV once she was done since I knew I wouldn't be in labor for another 4 hours to get my second dose anyway. She laughed and made fun of me a little bit, me being a nurse and asking for my IV to be taken out, but she agreed.
Zach and I were pacing around and with every contraction he would make the scarf tighter around my belly because it felt soooo good. (If you haven't heard of these, I highly recommend you look it up. I had no idea how much that counter pressure on the front of my belly would help!) The room I gave birth in was really small, but I seriously think Zach and I walked like 2 miles in that room, just back and forth. My midwife would have me stop to listen to baby's heartbeat with the doppler during every few contractions, and Juniper was doing great.
Then my midwife suggested I get in the pool, and at first I was hesitant to because I liked walking around so much. But as soon as I did, I was in heaven. The warm water felt soooo good, and the water was high enough that I was kind of just floating and bouncing around in there, it was amazing.
Zach came and kneeled by the edge of the pool and rubbed my back as I leaned into his chest with each contraction. I could tell my contractions were getting more intense now, and I could start feeling baby's head descending into my pelvis. My midwife suggested I do some nipple stimulation to make my contractions stronger and I wanted to rip her head off! I was like nooooo wayyyy, these are strong enough thank you! And just then I had a really strong contraction that I had to sit up and grab Zach's shirt and I started to yell a little bit.
What surprised me the most about my delivery was 1: How much it hurt (Seriously? Why did this surprise me?!) and 2: How much I yelled! At first I was doing low, moaney-type yells, but towards the end I was just yelling as loud as I could, sometimes just screaming, biting my washcloth, and holding onto Zach. I didn't know I had it in me.
Contractions were insane now, almost every 30 seconds, and baby's head was so far down into my pelvis I could feel exactly how big it was. I had a mini panic attack. I remember thinking, "okay, so I obviously can't push that out because that's way too freaking big, and my pelvis is probably going to break in half if I do that, but if I go to the hospital now they probably won't let me have an epidural, and there's no way she can go back in..." I had this out-of-body moment when I realized there was no way out, I had to push this baby out of me. My mindset changed a little bit, and my mom whispered to me "you're doing it, Madeline". Just then my midwife told me, "you can push with this next contraction if you want to"
I was so scared. My mom said she could literally see my body start to quiver when a contraction would come, and I was just yelling so loud with each one. Then I started to push. It felt good in a way, but the ring of fire was exactly how it sounds. It hurt so badly, but I felt powerful and in charge. It was surreal.
Then my midwife reached down and felt her head crowning and put a little pressure on me to prevent me from tearing and she told me to lean back into the pool to catch my baby. I leaned back, felt her head, gave her one more big push, and out came my Juniper.
I lifted her up out of the water, sobbing, and brought her right to my chest. All I could think was "I did it! This is real! She's here! I DID IT!!!!"
Juniper cried right away, I was so relieved. She was absolutely perfect. Even her color pinked up in a matter of seconds, and she was just laying there, against my chest, crying, as I leaned back into Zach. I was just sobbing, saying "Oh, I love you! I love you!" over and over as Zach and I held her.
(There's actually a video my mother-in-law took of me after Juniper came out, and it's about minute long, but it's so emotional that I actually haven't been able to watch it all because I cry too much)
Then with one more push, my placenta came out, and it felt soooooooooo good! And I just got to sit there and embrace one of the happiest moments of my entire life.
She was born at 8:12am, just 2 hours after my water broke. She was 7lbs 14oz, 22 inches long. And I love her so much. Whenever I look at her and Everly, I think my heart will explode. And....she looks just like me AND she's blonde!
Juniper's birth was so incredible. I was surrounded by so many people I love: Zach, my mom, Zach's parents, my photographer and my midwife. I could feel their energy as I screamed and pushed, and even though not much was said in the room, I could see them crying with me as I cried and I could feel their love. And while the room wasn't big enough to fit everybody I love, I could feel so much support and love from people everywhere. Zach was the best labor couch I could have asked for and he never once doubted me this whole process. My midwife was so supportive, and she has really furthered my desire to become a midwife myself.
And above all, we now have a perfect, beautiful baby girl added to our family, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.
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